I am having a slow Monday. Applying for internships. Writing like crazy. Napping. Thinking. Eating so very much. And watching the BBC 1980’s adaption of Pride and Prejudice (the one with a shirtless Colin Firth). I wouldn’t kick him out of my house, bedroom, bed… whatever.
I threw a bunch of things into a crockpot for dinner later. I love and hate how little things can sometimes be such clear reminders of a different part of your life. When I first lived in my very “almost” own apartment, I split a place with a best friend. There was only the two of us to contend for fridge and cupboard space. I was still studying psychology then and wearing huge knit sweaters that went down to my knees. I never brushed my hair. Nicole was always cutting her split ends or half-assing yoga in our kitchen while chugging a bottle of wine. We spent our evenings after work/class both curled up on opposite ends of our couch. Reading to each other. Painting our nails. Playing drinking games that we made up as we got drunker and drunker. It was always raining and all the grass was very, very green. I became really obsessed with soups that winter. Bean soups. Spinach soups. Split pea soups. Our apartment felt like a refuge from all the rain, so warm and cozy and smelling always of some sort of soup. It was everywhere. Whenever Nicole had a stressful day, I’d bake cookies and leave some hot soup for her. If she was sad over a guy, all the crying and the soup and some wine.
I had been casually seeing a guy that year. Someone from Toronto who left me more restless than anything else. I’d come home after spending the evening/night/weekend with him and chug cold, starchy soup like it would settle my heart down. It often did. I still have a scar on my thigh from all the soup I made that winter. Soaked straight through my jeans when said boyfriend leaned in to touch me. It had mixed with the smell of Nicole’s hand rolled cigarettes and burned me. Pretty badly. I look at it now and laugh. All the rain. All the soup. Feels like forever ago.
I need to get back to Colin Firth and sugar free chocolate since I’m on my 5th day without sugar or caffeine. Happy Monday eve, loves.
Love,
Zandria.
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